


Ket Dies

by orphan_account



Category: Critical Hit (Podcast)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-19
Updated: 2014-07-19
Packaged: 2018-02-09 12:23:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1982886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>for a while, at least</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

You don't even remember where exactly, now, but it had been after a particularly hard battle.

You were on the subject of death, if one of you had gone down that fight and not been able to get up, what you would do?

 

And you had been talking about a ritual, both you and Randus had learned, to bring back the dead, should you need it.

 

Ket had gotten a thoughtful look on his face.

Then he said, all mater-of-fact, “If it comes to that, don't bother with me”

And when one of you asked, “What? Why?” he rolled his eyes, said, “The Alley has first claim on my soul-on all of my souls. I doubt you'd be able to get them back”

Randus had said, “Then, I guess you can't die”

He had said, “That's the goal”

 

And that was that.

 

Now...

 

Well you've never seen him so calm, he should be doing _something,_  especially with Randus trying so hard to keep him awake.

 

Certainly he should be more panicked, with a wound like that. But even as you watch him he seems to doze off.

 

Something's not right.

 

You can tell when Randus lays him down, stands up, walks away with his hands pressed hard on the bridge of his nose, taking deep breaths.

 

You can tell when Torq goes over to him, takes off his jacket and drapes it over him.

It seems like something you've seen before.

 

 

It doesn't hit you for a long moment.

 

Then you feel the slow creeping sickness in the pit of your stomach and the slow burn right behind your eyes.

 

You remember the ritual, and then you remember that it wont work.

 

Your heart and throat do squeeze tight and you close your eyes. It feels like a long time before you have the will to open them again.

 

You do, finally, although the squeezing and the sickness hasn't stopped, to see Randus and Torq, both of them with arms crossed, and Trelle, wiping her eyes over and over.

 

You take a step closer, hear Randus explaining shakily that no, he can't use that ritual, that Ket told him not to waste the components and he's going to respect that. That it probably wouldn't work, anyways.

And as you come even closer it's Trelle who asks, “So what, then? A funeral? Does- Did he even have any family we need to tell?”

 

Each of you gives the others a melancholy look. If he did he had never told you.

(The situation feels quite similar in this way too. You never _did_ find Smith's family, like you said you would and now you don't even know if there's family to tell)

 

You hear yourself sigh, say, “I think a funeral is the most appropriate thing we can do”

 

Randus says, “A grave, then?”

And Torq says, “No. I think as much as he liked burnin' things when he was alive we oughta send him off with, uh...”

Trelle breaks in, “A pyre!”

 

That seems as good of a sendoff as you can give.

-

So you all set off to gather wood- you're in a sort of grassland and there's not a lot to be found between the few trees and bushes.

 

You all keep bringing armfuls back to where Torq is flattening out the grass. None of you say a word to each other, the loudest sound is the wind.

 

(You very carefully avoid looking at Ket, because you know you'll trick yourself for a moment that he's sleeping late and pulled his jacket over his eyes to block out the sun.)

 

-

The sun starts to go down and it starts to get even windier.

 

Between the four of you the pile you manged to make before it got too dark to se is passable. Torq carries Ket to the pile and lays him down, takes away the coat.

 

(There's no fooling yourself, now. The wound may be obscured but the blood from it is strikingly visible)

 

Then the four of you stand there, shoulder to shoulder.

Out of the corner of your eye, Randus bows is head,eyes damp, and swallows- something you're mouth is too dry to do right now- then turns to you.

He asks, “You want to do the honors?”

 

A fire made by magic, you realize, seems fitting. You nod.

 

You send out a hot white spark and the wood is so dry it catches before you're even done with the spell.

 

Before too long the flames are higher than you are tall and too hot for you to stand near.

 

You step back, far enough so that the roar of the flames aren't so loud. And then Trelle is next to you, still wiping away tears.

 

(You haven't reached that point, yet. Your throat is still tight and you still don't know just how to feel)

 

She's saying, “Remember, in Mandravo? How proud he was of his forest fire?”

She sort of laughs, “And then after that, with his whole soul thing. He was probably even hotter than this!”

 

You remember Mandravo, and you remember before then, too. And in the Mootlands, and the Vineyard.

 

(You remember that Imp of his, and his bird, and realize you haven't seen them. You suppose there's no use wondering what happened to them, now)

 

You let Torq tell the stories of how Ket stood in front of the Dark Council and you let Randus tell the story about the Fields of Autumn.

Then they're looking at you because, you realize, this is how you're sending him off.

 

You have to clear your throat, take a deep breath before you're able to speak. You start talking about Shallai, after you had all met up again, about how you and Ket had been in charge of summoning a lunar god- how he took care of the interns, and about a Manner of Sorts.

 

About halfway through Trelle tenses up, her eyes locked on something behind you. Your words stutter to a halt.

 

Randus and Torq are looking now, too, wide eyed. But before you can turn to see there's a hand on your shoulder.

 

“Come on, keep going. Make it sad”

 

You _can't_ look, because that's Ket's voice you just heard, and Ket's hand on your shoulder . You're heart aches even worse and you're confused, because you've been watching the fire this whole time, it doesn't make _sense_.

 

You had managed to work out the tightness, but it's back with a fierceness now. Your voice wavers- you say, “I thought you were dead”

 

He says, “I was. For a while, at least”

 

And _then_ you look. And it's _Ket_ , fancier clothes, eyebrow raised and a bird on his shoulder.

 

And now, _now_ the burning behind your eyes is too much to bear and the tears come out and you can't even make an excuse about the dust or the smoke because at the moment its mostly sobs. You grab at his shoulders and get two fists full of feathers from this strange feather cloak he's wearing, now.

 

Trelle says what you can't manage, she says, “We thought you were gone for good! You could have _said_ something!”

He says, “I didn't _know_ this was going to happen. It's a miracle that it did!”

 

Then Torq steps in, “Uh, what happened, exactly?”

 

So Ket explains, how he thought his souls went to the alley but how the big ones- the ones that belong to gods, at least- go to their owners first.

He explains how normally the Raven Queen would take her soul back and send him on his way and that would be that- except the Raven Queen wasn't there to claim it.

 

He says that, apparently, since he has such a large piece of her soul that he more or less ended up becoming the one in charge. At least until She shows up again.

 

During all of this you're still grabbing onto his cloak, though you're standing up straight, now, and you've managed to control your breathing and your tears.

 

You look around in the light of the dying fire to see faces far less melancholy than they had been just a few minutes ago.

Randus asks, “So … you're a god now?”

He shrugs,”Demigod, I think. So, hardly any of the power and all of the responsibilities”

 

Then he sighs, eyes closed but the edge of his mouth still quirked up.

“Still though. This is a nice funeral you set up, given everything”

 

Then he grabs your hands with his- still as warm as you remember and very much alive- and lifts them from his cloak. He looks you in the eyes and says, “But I've had a long day. I think we can get to the inn down the road before sunrise, if we hustle”

 

You nod, because you're exhausted and because you see Trelle out of the corner of your vision, hardly restraining herself from either grabbing Ket in a hug or punching him. You're not sure if you've ever empathized with her more than in this moment.

 

You say to him, “That sounds fine. But _you're_ buying the rooms”

 


	2. Chapter 2

Dying had hurt. Really hurt. But it had at least been quick. _This,_ whatever it is, hurts far more.

 

At first you thought that you were in whatever hell Asmodeus had reserved for his people. You only decided that no, you weren’t, because he couldn’t be _this_ cruel.

 

Then you see this woman, who you recognize as the one who showed up when the Raven Queen had disappeared ,standing over you as you writhe in pain.

 

(Writhe maybe isn't the right word, you're not so sure you have a body now that you've died but whatever you do have _hurts)_

 

She leans over you, sighs, tilts her head.

Says, “If you want to make it out of this whole you have to experience every kind of death there is.”

 

You want toask, _what_ and _why,_ because every kind of death you've felt so far _hurts_ and you're not sure if making it out whole is worth the pain or what that even _means_.

Because you're dead, and as far as you've ever known no one make it out of _that_ whole and you can't even ask what's going because you don’t have a voice anymore.

 

You've been stripped of everything but yourself and can do nothing but guess at your own deaths.

 

-

The final kind of death hurts the least- it's something like suffocation or blood loss, you guess, and it leaves everything feeling numb and empty. You didn't know it was possible to feel so exhausted and still exist, but you are somehow, still here.

 

-

 

She who was once the Raven Queen knew- as she should given her position- that everything dies. That even gods die, including herself.

 

And she knew when her time and the times of those other gods who were born with her would come. And she knew they were coming soon.

 

She decided on a replacement for herself- one that should keep the the balance stable when she's gone.

And she decided that she might as well give him a head start on whatever other gods arise after she's gone.

 

Because, he's done her favors, even if he hasn't known it, and if she's predicting right he's going to have to defend himself, so he might as well be able to handle herself, first.

 

She watches when he dies, then dies the second time and the third- and remembers all those thousands of years ago when she did the same.

 

(And she smiles to herself, knowing that she doesn't have to put him though this but also not thinking it cruel, for she knows that to be a god of something like death you have to experience it)

 

She watches his souls- his own in gold and the grey gift she gave him and the other countless colors that he won in his alley. And she waits.

 

Most souls are too weak, when they die they go to the shadowfell and they shred apart into nothingness. This one has held up to a thousand deaths so far and still holds itself together.

 

It's like tempering steel, removing the impurities. His does what she counted on- rather than splitting apart like souls tend to do his stays together- the winding gold of his holds in all those other parts and takes them in- yes, even hers.

 

It's strong and a new. It's the soul of a god and not even she can tell when it will die just yet.

 

And he's there, new and confused and still clinging onto his old memories. She tells him, “You have enough power to make yourself a new body, now. You have enough power to do many things. Use it wisely”

 

And that is all the council she gives him. Then she's gone, because this is no longer her place to be.

-

 

You are not so dead as you thought.

  
You wouldn’t say you're _alive_. You're tired and aching, but you're here, wherever this is, and you're alone.

 

And you have a body, like she said before she left, but you don’t think you made it because you would have made it in a lot less pain and maybe a little taller. It's jut like your old one but with a buzzing feeling at the fingertips.

 

You find that things here are all the sudden doing what you want them to. It's only a thought and a step from anywhere in the shadowfell for you now.

 

And then you recall.

You died. Right. The hundreds of other times that happened after don't matter so much to you but that first one does;whatever happened to you the first time, you turned out okay, but as for the other four of them...

 

If they were dead they'd be here, right?

Whatever killed you could have killed them too, and you don’t know how you're supposed to deal with death now. You'd rather not have to find out.

 

-

 

Stepping _out_ of the Shadowfell is easy enough. But once you're in the natural world you loose speed considerably.

You've already decided that whatever you are, you're not a god. You're certainly not all powerful and and you'd always imagined that gods know what they’re doing. You are a confused and worried man who's wandering the country side until you find somewhere you recognize.

 

Not terribly godlike.

 

It's long past sunset when you see it- a huge fire blazing out in the distance. And off in the shadows of it stand the other four in a close circle.

 

You can't help but smile, in relief, mostly.

-

When you're close enough to them to hear, Orem is talking, about you and him and the interns. The moment that Trelle sees you is the same moment you realize that you've just interrupted your own funeral.

You can't exactly turn around now, so you step forward, put your hand on Orem's shoulder- who stops cold, and say, “Keep going. Make it sad”

 

There's a long, long moment of silence, they all stare at you, then Orem says, “I thought you were dead”

And you say“I was.”

 

Which doesn't even begin to cover it, but it's technically true.

 

Then all at once Orem has grabbed you by the shirt and Randus has his hand on your shoulder and Trelle is saying “We thought you were gone for good! You could have _said_ something!”

 

You _had_ thought you were gone for good, honestly. You say, “I didn't _know_ this was going to happen. It's a miracle that it did!”

 

And then Torq is there, all suspicious of you, as if you could blame him after the demon web. He's asking,“Uh, what happened, exactly?”

 

You explain the best theory you've come up with. It's doesn't make much sense even to you, but they buy it.

 

You don't know what happened- you're tired- and you’re alive- and you want more than anything to lie down and nap.

 

You take Orem's hands off of you gently as you can and say that you'd like to go to the inn down the road that you passed on the way up here.

 

(He was crying, crying over _you_ and didn't even blame the smoke and as strangely happy and sad as that makes you you're not going to bring it up because you imagine he'd resent it if you did)

 

Orem says to you, “That sounds fine. But _you're_ buying the rooms”

 

And you chuckle and agree and head off.

 

(Halfway down the road Trelle punches you hard in the chest and then gives you the tightest hug you've ever had in your life and the five of you end up laughing and crying in the middle of the road till midnight) 


End file.
